The good news of the last decade of brain research can be summed up in one word: “neuroplasticity.” “Neuro” refers to nerve cells that make up your brain and nervous system and “plasticity” refers to the fact that the connections between these cells can CHANGE and GROW. What determines whether they change and grow? Experience. While adverse experiences create pain, suffering, and trauma in the mind-body, positive experiences can repair the damage that’s been done.

We used to believe that the brain had finished developing in our mid-twenties. Now we know that our brains can and do change up until the day we die. The human brain and nervous system respond to each and every experience we have. Conditioned learning, such as learning to play an instrument or doing crossword puzzles, creates and strengthens the connections between nerve cells. But there is an even more powerful way to heal and grow.

Imagine your spinal cord and the nerve fibers that extend like branches into all parts of your body. Did you know that there is a special branch of nerves that lights up only when you feel safe? And it is the only branch that is wrapped in coils of fatty tissue (myelin) that allow signals to travel one hundred times faster than anywhere else. This branch is known as the ventral vagal system, and it allows us to connect and have relationships. It also allows us to heal at an astounding rate.

Consider this: In one second of ventral vagal connection, 50,000 new neurons can grow! The ideal circumstances to create this type of healing is feeling safe and connected to another being, such as a person, pet, or tree. You will know you are in such a state if you feel calm, relaxed, and present.

We are relational beings. We are wounded through inadequate relationships and we heal through safe relational experiences, also known as love. To quote my teacher, Dr. Sharon Stanley, “Love reveals and transforms all that is not yet love.”